being ME !

39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist

2007-07-02T09:33:00.000+05:30

Hey guys... a friend sent this to me and I would like to share it with you all.Most of it is what we already know or what we keep telling ourselves or others keep telling us ,but we never really get down to living it.I'm sure this mail is going to make a difference in my life and I hope it does in yours too.

So here goes...

"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it.

That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.

That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.

That's fine, until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.

It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.

What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
1. Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

2. Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

3. Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

4. Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

5. Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

6. Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).

7. Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

8. Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.

9. Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.

10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

11. Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

12. Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

13. Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.

14. Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

15. Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

17. Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

18. Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.

19. When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

20. Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

21. Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

22. Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.

23. Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

24. Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.

25. Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

26. Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.

27. Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

28. Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

29. Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

30. Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

31. Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

32. Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

33. Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

34. Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

35. Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

36. Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

37. Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

38. Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.

39. Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

Just do it !

2007-06-28T10:05:00.000+05:30

Pearl S. Buck :
"I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work."

I came across the above quote today and realized that it's so true. Often, we keep making plans in our heads about how we wanted to learn to play the guitar or how we wanted to try out salsa or how we wanted to commit ourselves to going for a morning walk everyday. But sadly, most of the times, these plans never materialize in the real world for various reasons. They remain within the confines of our head. And before we realize, we get so caught up with the nitty- gritties of our daily lives that we don't seem to be able to take time out and do something for ourselves. We suffer from "too much planning". Therefore, as Pearl S Buck says, we are not gonna accomplish anything if we are going to wait for the right time, the right moment. Our mind must know it has to get down to work. It's worth spending an hour a day doing what you really love doing! It keeps you going. It recharges our batteries. So what are you waiting for ?! Seize the moment and go for it guys!

P.S I'm not advertising Nike! :D

tis different!

2007-06-27T10:19:00.000+05:30

It's strange. Every other person I come across in this world is weird according to me (My friends are exempted from this general rule!). I keep having these weird thoughts in my head like...

1. "Oh God... why does she have to go on and on about this?!"
2. "Oh man..why is he making such a big deal outta nothin!!"
3. "why oh why do I have to waste my time listening to such crap?!!"
4. "blah blah blah"

... and the like!

Is it that everyone around me is weird..or is it that I'm weird and therefore I perceive everything and everyone around as weird? Maybe, to put it simply, as my friend said, we are all different. There's a lot of variety out there! We don't necessarily have to categorize people as good or bad. We should just let them be and respect them for what they are! 'Cos underneath each mask is a person fighting his or her own battle,living his or her own life.Each has his or her own story which is as important as our own. So live and let live..! :)

P.S Hell yeah...I'm weird!!!

Perfect Life...Continued :)

2007-06-26T09:47:00.000+05:30

I watched 'Life in a metro' last weekend and there's one particular line that really appealed to me.It's what Monty (Irrfan Khan) explains to Shruti (Konkana Sen Sharma).

Here goes..

His friend bought a car and decided that he would take it out only when all the signals in the city were green, but thats never gonna happen! More often than not, most of us are always waiting for that perfect person or that perfect job or that perfect moment and so on.What we fail to see is what we have and when we do realize it, it's either too late or our bloated egos prevent us from admitting it...!So grab the moment.take a chance..!

Cos until you try, you'll never know! :)

Is life really ever going to be perfect ?

2007-06-25T12:16:00.000+05:30

I don't know how many of you have felt this,but I have complaints about life all the time.For me, life would always be perfect if...

-if i didn't have an exam next week
-if i didn't have to attend my 2nd cousin's mother's brother's daughter's uncle's friend's sister's son's wedding.
-if only I didn't have a bad hair day
-if only I didn't ...

... I could go on and on and on!

But is life ever going to be perfect is the question...
There will always be imperfections,fights,issues,problems and so on and so forth.

It's time we accept these everyday things..and start enjoying the flaws rather than criticizing 'em..!

Afterall , if everything was perfect..would we know what it meant to be happy?!

All that matters...

2006-04-28T18:40:00.000+05:30

Hey all! I know its been ages since I posted something(my sincere apologies to all my ardent readers)...oh well,I just went through this phase that I'm sure all bloggers go through "I dunno what to write abt!" or "why would anyone wanna read this?!" wherein I did type a coupla posts(infact I typed for hours together!) n then sent them right to the recycle bin in one single click!( I must've been a dipsomaniac to have done that...they were quite nice you know!Ah well,maybe not that great either)Anyway,lets not dwell too much in the past...that phase of torpor is over and am back to being 'me'!(atleast for today!)

And right now,I just want to list down all the things that make me happy so that those of you out there who care for me know what to do when I go back to being lugubrious!

So here goes a few things that bring a smile on my face (and they are in no particular order)...

- phone call/sms/letter/e-mail from a friend who I haven't been in touch with for quite a long time

-when I meet a friend after ages n find that things haven't changed over the years and that we can still pick up the threads where we left them

- a walk at the beach with a friend

- a morning walk

- an evening walk

- a phone call from home to say that they miss me!

- a phone call from anyone sayin they miss me!!

- to find money in the pocket of an old pair of jeans or a bag...even if its jus 5 bucks!

- a cold water shower (most prefer it hot...but i think the cold water cools me down!)

- when you visit your alma-mater and realise that not only the teachers but also the watchmen and the gardener remember you( as the girl who walked on his precious flower beds!)

- when you wake up and find out you've ten whole mins before your alarm's gonna ring

- those teenie-weenie crushes

- when after a heartbreak,you wake up one morning and realise 'it doesn't hurt anymore'

- when you think you've been a B**** and you are full of guilt and then you go tell your friend about it and they are like "whats wrong in that?!I would've done the same thing!!"

-fresh fruit juice...that lifts me up at any time of the day!!

- icecream!

- chinese food... yumm...actually anything that tastes good

- watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S

- when I discover I've lost weight when I haven't even been trying to

- when my fav song plays on the radio

- a good book

- a good movie...with some popcorn!

- work...well weird actually,but sometimes it helps me get my mind off other things!

- when someone make me a hot cup of tea when my head's hurting like it never hurt before!

- a looooong drive...

- chocolates ( no milky bar and no coconut chocolates plz!)

- rain...with a good book to read...and some hot soup (preferably hot n sour or sweetcorn veg or clear soup...no tomato soup plz!)and yeah no pending work to worry about!

- getting drenched in the rain as long as I know I have fresh clothes to change into immediately

- when someone else does your laundry(you would know how that feels if you've been doing your own laundry for the past 4 years!)

- a freshly made bed when you are tired and sleepy!(With a clean and spotless bedsheet!)

- freshly washed towels...they smell good!

- unexpected but pleasant late nite meet ups when your friends jus pull you out of your house at ungodly hours just to cheer you up :)

- a good swim!

- the way my mom makes all my fav food when I go home

- the way she irritates and wakes me up every morning either in person/phone call

- an unexpected gift

- when there's nothing to eat at home and you suddenly discover that old packet of maggi tucked in somewhere (maggi had never tasted any better...u bet!)

- when my sis gives me that t-shirt/kurta of hers that i always had my eyes on!

- when I get some unexpected money from relatives!

- that feeling when I realise that my old pair of jeans fit me again!

- a genuine compliment

- ticking off tasks from the to-do list!

- not having to wait in a queue at the bank/supermarket

- when you have cried your heart out for the n th time at the airport and then you take your seat in the flight and you look up to find out that the flight attendant is a damn cute guy!

- when friends see you off at the airport...jus goes to show how much they care!

- when you hear how that b**** you hate made a fool of herself somewhere!(sadistic...but what the hell...who said I was an angel anyway?!)

- when you walk to the bus stop and your bus just comes in and you don't have to wait a minute..and what's more ..you even get a place to sit!

- when there's a cute guy leaning next to you incase there's no place to stand in the bus...and if you fall on him..then blame it on that fat lady next to you who's been pushing you and stepping on your feet!

- when that cute guy in your class finally notices you and smiles at you!

- walks n talks with my dad

- loooong conversations over the phone

- eating that last bar of chocolate in the fridge

- chilled yoghurt

- strawberries with cream

- chilled watermelon

- that satisfied look on my face after I finish cleaning my room

- when I figure out that tough one in the crossword!

- when I'm freakin hungry and I come home to find that my mom's made something yummy!

- a good night's sleep

- an afternoon siesta

- puchka (no I refuse to call it paani poori !)

- a letter from my nephew

- a big hug!

- to find that the shirt i liked last time i went to the mall is on sale n affordable now!

- a good haircut (oh man..this feels so good...I've cut my hair 4 times in the past 3.5 months!)

- when my network operator comes up with a full recharge offer just when I'm gonna recharge!

- when you discover that 3rd grade best friend of yours on orkut !

- a new testimonial from a friend !

- when I go back to my old neighbourhood and find out that even the shopkeepers there still remember me!!

Well,I think I'm gonna stop right here for the moment.This list is not exhaustive.
I could go on n on...

But what's important here is that it's always the 'lil' things in life that make us happy...and most of the times we get so caught up in our so called 'busy' schedules that we don't realise that we are jus trudging along and missing out on these small everyday things that make us so happy...like they say,we need to take time off and stop and smell the roses.These things may not be all that big or important or expensive,but they make such a huge difference in our lives...don't they?!

million dollar question

2006-02-19T12:33:00.000+05:30

What do I blog about?!!

I think I've racked my brains enough and I'm still not able to come up with a good enough topic to write about.I thought I would blog about

1)Valentine's day(but that I should've done long back,the topic is stale now and too many people on blogosphere have already expressed my views on it.If I do write about it now,I think it might become a copyright issue with other bloggers).

2)about my baseless low-phase.But its ok,I don't wanna relate my jeremiad here.(I have already sobbed about it enough to my friends...and if you are my friend and you are reading this ...then you already know my sob story...so I don't wanna sound redundant).

3)my other risible phobia -ornithophobia.But I not-so-recently posted a phobia post and again another phobia post would give my readers an impression that I'm an eternally scared and meek personality...which I'm definitely not!(To muster the courage and tell a guy you have a teenie weenie crush on him does require guts!so no I definitely don't have a timid demeanour).

4) my take on current affairs of course...(but I just didn't feel like posting anything serious,I'm tired of my sardonic take on Indian politics)

5)something funny...but I guess my humour-o-meter reading has been dipping low for the past fortnight.

6)my project.(well,If I knew all that I claimed to know at the company,I wouldn't be blank right now)

7)something rebellious...hmm... I'm saving that up for later (later as in after I've watched RDB which I will today :-) )

8)reviews on books,movies...(nah...sounds drab at the moment)

9)my everyday life ...If I did post something on this I think it would read as follows :-
Got up at 8 a.m
brushed my teeth at 8:10
read newspaper till 9
took bath at 9:30
had cornflakes for breakfast
read a book till 2
had lunch n slept till 5
went to library at 5:30
watched movie till 8:00
had dinner at 8:30
was online and did some arbit chatting n browsing
slept at 11

...sounds like a happening life eh?! :-/

10)unbearable heat in chennai..and mind you,this is jus Feb,I can't imagine how mar-may is gonna be like!...(if it was because of a sudden increase in the no. of "hot" guys in chennai then I wouldn't mind it as much ;-) but sadly...thats definitely not the reason)

11)college...the 2 days when I do drag myself to college are spent in reading books under the table and looking up every now and then nodding to the prof's continuous monotonous drab gibberish and pasting this " I-understood- it- all" look on my face...or looking at the watch every 2 mins in the hope that 'TIME' would suddenly start running instead of strolling ...or being thrown outta the class for laughing at a guy who's peacefully and blissfully sleeping and then getting a lecture on inappropriate behaviour in class!)

And so now I have given enough proof to my readers that I haven't really been negligent about my duties as a blogger and no I don't treat blogging as a perfunctory task either...there's a dearth of topics!!or rather creativity and imagination...

But then I'm open to suggestions...so please gimme ideas as to what I should blog about...

I'll be waiting...

BE RIGHT BACK

2006-02-15T09:38:00.000+05:30

hey ppl,I'm posting this to jus let u
all know that I'm alive and I was jus

taking some time off (time off from wat,
i dunno,dont ask me either).You might
think I might have climbed Mt.Everest or
maybe I swam accross the English channel
or any other equivalent feat during this
time.But no...I haven't done anything
productive for a long time now.(if u can
count watching 4 movies and reading 3
books in 2.5 weeks and an entire season
of 'Friends' as productive!)And no I am
not like so many others on blogosphere
who go on a-post-everyday spree n then
fizzle out.I'm gonna get back to this
soon,as soon as soon can be in my
dictionary!Till then...thanks for
waiting patiently and visiting my page
every now n then!! :-)

Cross-o-phobia: Travails of a 'road-crosser'

2006-01-25T22:08:00.000+05:30

Deep down inside...all of us have certain weird phobias.(jus that some of us have more weird ones than others!)No I'm not scared of cockroaches or lizards...(as a kid I loved holding a cockroach upside down with its antennae and scaring others!)I have a 'weirder' phobia...I'm scared of crossing roads...!so much so that everytime I cross a road I think of what my 'last words' would be if I didn't manage to get to the other side!(Afterall,most famous people die with famous last words...so why shouldn't I!)So there I go ...crossing tens of roads everyday and making up tens of 'last words' before I cross those tens of roads!It takes a great deal of courage to face what you fear the most everyday (yay! Am a brave gal!)...but you might ask what's the big deal in crossing a road ( I mean...after all its jus a road!) But ofcourse if it was jus another road,I wouldn't mind it much.What really scares the hell outta me is that everytime I see traffic on the road I keep imagining that I'm gonna get sandwiched between two humongous buses! (literally sandwiched) That picture flashes in my mind (with MI2 music playing in the background...don't ask me why!)everytime I'm about to cross a road.
I have done a detailed research on this subject and I came to the conclusion that people in general can be grouped into the following categories based on their styles of road-crossing
1) These are the traditional ones.They have learnt their lessons well in school and they apply what they have learnt...i.e,they look left,then right then left and then cross when the coast is clear.
2) People belonging to this category believe that they own the roads.They cross whenever,wherever they feel like regardless of traffic signals or the vehicles.They believe "All world's a stage...and their act is to cross roads at free will!"
3)These are "follow the leader" types.They lie in wait for their prey(i.e the leader!) and watch who's gonna cross the road and then they follow their "leader".
4)I belong to this last set.Eternally scared.Keep looking left-right-left-right-left ...until a friend who's probably already crossed the road gets tired of looking at me turn my head L-R-L-R-L (as if I was watching a tennis match!) comes back to the other side and takes my hand and takes me to the other side in a jiffy as if this arduous task of road-crossing was a piece of cake !

But then ofcourse,people cannot be strictly grouped into the 4 categories above.There are gray areas.Sometimes people who are generally careful tend to get careless (could be cos they are late for work,a date...various reasons!)But I believe in "better safe than sorry".So I just go on waiting and waiting...he he...
(But then that reminds me "ships are safe in the harbour...but thats not what ships are meant for!"On similar lines..."people are safe on one side of the road...but thats not what people are meant for...they are born to cross roads?!")
Someday I hope to belong to the 1st category ...
But before that ...
I have promises to keep
And tens of roads to cross before I sleep,
And tens of roads to cross before I sleep.

P.S Why did the chicken cross the road? (Atleast it wasn't scared of the traffic like me!)
And by the way,fear of crossing roads is called 'Dromophobia'

Lasting impressions...

2006-01-22T16:29:00.000+05:30

First impression is the last impression...or so they say and so I believed.But so often it has happened that first impressions have been such wrong impressions.
Two of my best friends-I had judged them to be snobs even before I knew them.The more I got to know them,the more I grew to love them.I couldn't believe these were the same people I had considered too haughty to even talk to.(My sincere apologies to both of you!)
Another friend of mine judged me unfit for his attention and even bitched about me with another friend of his (It is a different issue altogether that he and I are best of friends now and he and his bitch pal are no longer on talking terms!)
Another instance would be one of my classmates who I thought considered the rest of the class to be lesser mortals (esp the girls!!).He didn't as much as give us a glance or even acknowledge our presence.It is a wonder that we sat in the same class for 2 years and never had a word to say to one another.It is an even greater wonder that we both do have quite a few interesting conversations these days.
Sometimes its the other way round.We get along extremely well with someone but then a small misunderstanding ,a tiff and all is lost.You begin to wonder how things went so wrong so suddenly.
Or sometimes,people just drift apart for no reason at all.I guess they just find their calling and move on...and one must gracefully accept the change.It hurts but as my sis says "this too shall pass" .
So I do believe that "We always create images and perceptions about people and then try to make them prisoners of those images … " I hate to admit that I have done that.(And I'm sure if all of you who are reading this do a bit of introspection would agree with me too.)
Its high time I grow up and stop presuming things about people and let them just "be" themseleves...

P.S All names have been kept confidential intentionally lest I am found unfit to post anything further (which ofcourse would be a great loss for my ardent readers!)

JUDGEMENT DAY

2006-01-15T21:55:00.000+05:30

Placements- a word at the back of every final year student's mind .3 yrs of engineering can sometimes stultify the mind and placements come as a great source of hope (of redemption!!!) As soon as the 6th semester exams got over, I made a solemn promise to myself that I would start working for the aptitude tests and interviews after a week of relaxation. One week passed, and then two and then three and one fine day it dawned on me that there were only 7 more days to go for the placements! I spent the next 3 days lamenting over spilt milk and relating my plight to anyone who would be sympathetic enough to lend me a ear (most of the times, my parents were the scapegoats…no one else had that much of patience!) After all "promises are meant to be broken" - Or so I consoled myself! With four days in hand, I chalked out a list of things I needed to do on colorful little post-it notes and pasted them all over my room - glaring reminders of my lazy disposition! I set to work on my aptitude, stuff like time and distance (do the Indian railways take this into account?!...Am sure they don’t, otherwise we wouldn't have so many accidents!), time and work (who'll know this better than me...I realized that I get more work done in lesser time which goes against the basic principles of time and work!). After working out one or two old question papers as well as a few puzzles with a friend, not only did I manage to get tensed but I got her totally terrified too (we felt that our lives were a big question mark and we first needed to solve this puzzle called ‘life’!) And we decided not to look at them again lest we end up becoming schizophrenics (am not sure if its spelt that way...I have been working on my vocab too!) Next was the big task of preparing my resume! Never thought writing about oneself could be this tough! Setting out to write the career objective I realized I lacked clarity and had no specific goals in life. Point blank-I was aimless. I spent an entire day thinking about what I wanted to do in life and did a SWOT analysis (For those of you who don’t know what that means…its Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats). I must say this really helped me in the HR interview ‘cos knowing oneself better makes one more confident’. I spent another day honing my not-so-good technical skills and making up my mind about which subject I hated the least so that I could jot it down as my so-called ‘area of interest’. Next was the most difficult task- making myself look smart at least for the D-day! I give all credit for that to my sis who picked out what I should wear. This is in fact very important ‘cos when you look good, you feel great! I also went to landmark and picked up a good display book for my certificates. In spite of all the prep, there were butterflies in my stomach the previous evening and my friend (who was sweet enough to help me do the last min prep) had a very tough time allaying my worst fears! Before going to bed that night, my prayers went on for longer than usual. On D-Day, I decided to be calm and composed. I felt great when I cleared the aptitude. My interview had been a stress interview and no matter what I said the interviewer would say he didn't agree with me or that I lacked clarity in what I said! But I remember I never felt tensed or scared for a minute! It was like a friendly discussion. In the end when I asked him what he was looking for in a candidate, he gave me a very mischievous grin and said just one word-"clarity”. I decided that I was doomed and felt as if my worst fears had come true! I began to think of alternative career options…maybe I could work out more time and distance problems and work under our honorable Railway minister (I’ve been a great fan of his for a long time now!), or maybe I could write a thesis on how the entire principle behind time and work is incorrect! It was a weird experience huddling around with friends at sunset in the boys hostel (which is normally out of bounds for the girls much like the forbidden forest for Hogwarts students). We were sharing our interview experiences-Each worse than the other! We lent each other a shoulder to cry on (while feeding the dogs around the hostel with tit-bits…poor creatures are thinner than kids from Somalia!). I observed that hunger and exhaustion make people behave very weirdly! And after much waiting, the time had finally come for announcement of results! The list went on and on. And with each name my hands started sweating more than before. Then suddenly I heard something that sounded vaguely familiar (hunger makes me suffer from sudden bouts of amnesia!) And suddenly all around me I found people shaking my hands and patting my back…guess God answered my prayers! One last word-Visualization really helps. Every night before the interview I visualized myself doing well. I guess this is what they mean by the power of the sub-conscious mind. I realized that after all the preparation; it pays to stay calm and confident on the D-day. Remember interview is not an ‘interrogation’...it's a ‘conversation’.

(P.S This was the article I wrote for my college magazine)

Mirror mirror on the wall...who's the fairest of us all?

2006-01-15T13:58:00.000+05:30

Scene 1:

A girl just out of college is running from pillar to post looking for a job.She's rejected at every place she tries her luck.What does she do then?She turns to her Miss know-it-all friend who gifts her with a fairness cream as the key to all her problems.She uses it for 4 weeks and you know what happens next...She's loaded with offers for work!

Scene 2:

Arranged marriage scene.Guy's family visit the girl's family.They leave in a huff 'cos they find out that the girl is dusky and not the fair doll that they thought she'd be.Girl tries one of those fairness creams for 4 weeks.And lo behold...!The same family welcomes her as a bride
with open arms!

I thought it was skills that we possessed that got us our jobs.Maybe I was mistaken.
I thought marriage meant union of two compatible people.Maybe I was mistaken.

By now,you've got a 'fair' idea of what I'm heading into next.What exactly are these advertisements trying to portray to the masses?
-That the color of the skin counts and not your inner self?
-That a girl can't get herself a job and a groom if she's not fair?

And why do these well-educated popular film stars agree to endorse these brands?
Don't they hold a higher social responsibility of not misleading the masses?
Why do they want to lure innocent girls into this vicious arena where all that matters is how you look?
I don't see why it is wrong if one has a darker skin color.Don't we have dusky beauties all around us who are as successful as their fairer counterparts?
Moreover,why do these advertisements attack the female masses?
What they are trying to show is that a guy can get a job or a bride no matter what his skin color is...?Why can't the same rule apply to girls?Male chauvinism at its worst...!

We have endured such meaningless advertisements for long enough.I think its high time we have a board review the advertisments to ensure that the right message gets across to the masses.Let us join hands and raise our voices and condemn such advertisements which are in a way promoting racism of a different kind.

(P.S. They have a fairness cream for guys too these days!)

Homesick or sick of home?

2006-01-14T10:27:00.000+05:30

I don't know about all of you,but I've been a complete brat as a kid.To give you a few examples:-neither would I polish my shoes for school nor would I bother to put my school uniform for wash when I got back (I had appointed my mommy dearest to do that).I would wake my mum up at 3 in the morning to make a cup of tea to keep myself from dozing off during exam times).Pampered as I was at home,you can imagine the state of shock I transited into when I heard I was being sent away from home to study elsewhere.My scheming mind began to mastermind all kinds of plans to persuade my parents from refraining to commit such a sin.I tried emotional blackmail,faking sickness,promising to be an angel henceforth,enlightening them about the different ways in which my flight could be hijacked,hiding my ticket,delaying everything so that I'd miss my flight.I tried every trick under the sun.Nothing seemed to budge my family from their stand.After all the howling at the airport(mind you,none of my family members cried...its a different issue that they might have after they reached home...whether they did cry or not will always remain a mystery to me 'cos they still don't reveal it.But I like to think they did,So we'll leave it at that.)Everything happens for a reason (or so a friend of mine thinks...) and whatever that reason was,the truth was I was leaving on a jet plane to make my entry into the big,bad world(and I didn't know when I'd be back again!).You might think I would have given up on my plans to go back home,but my undeterred self wouldn't give up so easily.For the next 3 months,I'd call home and cry and throw a tantrum.In the meanwhile,I did make friends at school and kinda began to settle down (Though,I refused to admit it).I did miss my friends back home.Every letter/e-mail from them would have tears running down my cheeks.But time heals everything or so they say...(for those of you who might have any doubts,I did learn to polish my own shoes and remember to put my clothes for wash.And yes,I can make my own cup of tea now)

Six years down the line,here I am...Time for a bit of confession.Though I have never admitted it till now,I'm glad I got this experience of staying away from home.I've grown and matured as person since then(Atleast I think so).Ofcourse,I wouldn't have survived these years without my support system(my family and a bunch of 'bestest' friends !Hats off to you guys for having put up with all my whining and comforting me when I was homesick)I've learnt to appreciate my parents more for the 'lil' things that they've done (and keep doing) which were inconspicuous when I was staying with them,but their absence makes them glaringly conspicuous.Distance has brought me closer to my family.And ofcourse,I'm glad I came here cos I've made friends for life here!So I guess my friend is right...everything does happen for a reason afterall.

Page 3...what about the other pages?

2006-01-12T19:10:00.001+05:30

Like many people out there,I too need the newspaper to accompany my morning tea.Tea minus the newspaper or vice versa leaves my morning incomplete.But the point is how many of us really read the front page or the pages that talk about the issues bothering our nation or other nations.Most of us directly skip to PAGE 3 - the page that talks about the lives of the high society socialites or the 'who's who' in other words.We are more interested in knowing which actor wore what to which party or if so and so came to the party with someone and left the party with someone else or who was the best-dressed and who was the worst dressed?Who wore which designer's creations?

What attracts us to the glamorous lives of these social butterflies?

Is it because we derive vicarious pleasure from their lifestyles?

Is it because we feel incomplete within ourselves?

Is it because we wish we were in their shoes?

Or is it because of the need to keep ourselves updated with the gossip lest we feel outta place at the next get together with friends which generally end up as gossip sessions?

I am not sure of the answers.Nor am I refuting the fact that once in a while it is fun to gossip about such things.(A recently conducted study found that gossip actually helps relieve stress).But what I do feel is that we must keep ourselves updated with other 'current affairs' too.How many of us actually read the editorials which sometimes bring out the really fine points which we would otherwise miss?How many of us are aware that a ship called 'Clemenceau' loaded with asbestos is coming to an Indian port for dismantling?How many of us are aware that the asbestos could endanger the lives of the workers involved in the dismantling procedure?Why is our country ready to bury the trash of another country in our grounds even though that would mean indirectly abetting to ignore the Basel convention of which India is a signatory.

I think,as the youth of today,it is upto us to voice our views on such subjects.Afterall,every drop of water adds to make the ocean what it is.We must all do what we can,what is within our reach.We must not refrain from making the 'little' difference that we can make...only then can we truly call ourselves dutiful countrymen of 'Incredible India'.

Lets 'make friendship' to remember

2006-01-10T12:27:00.000+05:30

I have been thinking and brooding...musing and pondering abt what to write ...so I decided I would jus begin with something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.Its abt the sudden requests for friendship one keeps getting on these friend networks.Let me jus begin with an e.g
One Mr.X said...
"U Have An Incredible n impressive Personality, Ur Beauty is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.. have not got anything else to say because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it....
...Would Love 2 Knw more about U..would love to make friendship with u"

ok brace yourselves...there's more to come! I dont want all of you falling off your chairs laughing(being the non-violent person that I am,I wouldn't dream of inflicting such injuries upon anyone).

Coming back to the topic,could someone please explain to me "how do u 'make' friendship?" Is there a recipe for it like home-baked cookies?I'm not quite sure if one exists.

Also,I'd like to know why is that only guys keep sending such requests to girls and why not vice versa...Does it go on to prove that the guys are eternally jobless?They've nothing better to invest their time in except for sending messages to unknown girls?

On the positive side...hats off to their undeterred spirits!Some of them seem to follow the prinicple of "Never,Never,Never give up!"Inspite of being denied the privilege of 'making' friendship,they dont't lose heart but continue to send repeated requests until either
of the 2 things happen :-
1.The girl being chafed at the repeated requests either puts him on the ignore list or reports him as bogus
2.The girl who probably doesn't want to be more rude than she already has been adds him on but refrains from ever replying to his messages.

What these guys gain out of this fruitless endeavour...i fail to comprehend.

Moreover,some guys also claim to really be cool as one Mr.Y who sent the following message to a friend..

" hi.Ur really cool ,i am a cool guy too. i would love to meet u
sometime if we get well. though Ur a busy bee try to interact with me . don't ask much in net and make a big pain."

"get well?"-are both of them sick?!
"make pain?"- 'make' friendship...'make' pain...what next?!beats me...
And if this Mr.Y happens to be the cool guy he claims to be,then why exactly does he happen to send such trash to girls who would probably send them to their righteous place(obviously trash!) immediately...!

And ofcourse there is another Mr.Z who says :-
email me
my id: zzz@xyz.com
Conditions Apply:
* If committed don't reply
* Not interested don't reply
* Outside Chennai don't interact
hmm...imposing conditions on friendship too!Or is it the aftermath of too much programming with conditional if statements!And of course we must solemnly note the point from above that committed people are not capable of making friendships.(Mr.Z, I'm sure the committed people(pseudo singles too ;-) ) out there beg to differ...)

Another Mr.P (P for philosophical?) says :-

"when it comes to future goals and visions if u keep in mind that "GOD is your Source", i am telling...u look at the whole world in different picture or different view... its like this... some advice(help) from me... u might get married in the years to come.... but take my advice... dont u ever completely believe on uer husband.. or uer family members....its just that people
whom we trust all human beings..... human beings tend to make mistakes.. or disappoint us.. but trust in god ..u wont be disappointed... if u completely believe that God is your source, u have this idea in mind i am telling u... success will accompany u... it will overtake u... "

Ahem ahem,Mr.P seems to be offering a free counselling service.And by the way, Mr.P, if success is going to overtake me,does it imply I'm going to be unsuccessful?!A point to ponder...eh?
Another trend that has been noted is that these extremely cool,philosphical guys tend to copy-paste these messages and send them to lots of girls(Its a different issue that these girls probably happen to be the best of buddies and have a hearty laugh at these messages
when they have nothing better to do!)

But jokes apart,as my friend rightly replied to one of these messages asking what 'selection criteria' (pun intended) do these guys use while sending such messages?Have they ever heard that "Beauty is only skin deep"?
hmmm...What's that saying again...Boyz will be boyz?!

here i am...

2006-01-09T15:44:00.000+05:30

Finally!After lot of coaxing n convincing from well-meaning friends...here i am in blogosphere!!At the risk of sounding cliched...i finally have my own space to give words to my endless ruminations for the world(ahem ahem..) to see.
The bundle of conflicting emotions that i am...so is the name of my blog...

so here begins...the intelligent prattle :-)